30 Things I Would Like to Do, But May or May Not Get Around to Doing Before I Die

 

 

I was going to write a dark and twisty post, but then decided my divorce will go smoother if I keep my mouth shut about some things for the next little while 🙂 Seriously, I wrote it and read it hundreds of times and was going to share it, but I changed my mind because I do what I want.

 

Next year, hopefully I can publish a collection titled, “The Dark Days”, or “Shit Storm City” or “I Think I Really Did Marry An Axe Murderer” or “The Shit I Wished I Could Say When I Started This Blog” or “What the Fuck Was That About?”. Please comment below, leaving your title suggestions for this next series.

 

I had a baaaaaad night recently and it fucked me up for about 48 hours. But the fact that I can say it only fucked me up for two days is really, truly, madly, deeply awesome. Even just a few months ago, that would have ruined me for quite some time. But, not today,  crippling situational anxiety and enabler’s guilt, not today!

 

So, fuck off, bad temporary feels! You don’t even know me!

 

Today, instead of sharing my awful night inside of a shit storm, I’m gonna talk about my new life!

 

Here’s a follow up to the 30 Before 30 post:

 

30 Things I Would Like to Do, But May or May Not Get Around to Doing Before I Die

 

1. Don’t rush into another marriage

 

2. Cut my hair really short

 

3. Learn how to play at least three songs on some kind of instrument

 

4. Never weigh myself again

 

5. Regularly exercise without it being a phase or a chore

 

6. Pay off my car

 

7. Pay off my credit card

 

8. Accept I will be buried with my student loans

 

9. Sing my fat fucking ass off

 

10. Learn how to worry less about tripping over my feet or mic cord on stage – legit fear

 

11. Get specialized in stroke rehab, lymphedemic massage, and/or therapeutic yoga

 

12. Get a dog

 

13. Take dog with me everywhere

 

14. Have a baby or just pick one up off the side of road when I’m older so I don’t have to stress about having that other baby

 

15. Get an RV and live in it for at least a year

 

16. If I don’t like living in an RV, sell it or set it on fire

 

17. Have ZERO tolerance for unhealthy behaviors in a relationship

 

18. Be really honest. Not like, dickishly honest. But just open and honest and unafraid.

 

19. Tell and show my family and friends I love and appreciate them, on the reg

 

20. Write a book or compilation of some kind of random stuff I’ve written..

 

21. Make better eye contact when conversing with others

 

22. Stand up straighter

 

23. Learn self-defense

 

24. Sing more on command for old people. They really, really like it.

 

25. Sing more with Dad. Again, he really, really likes it. And I do, too.

 

26. Spend a ridiculous amount of money on a weekend with my girlfriends to celebrate a bachelorette party I never had and a divorce that I have almost survived

 

27. Buy my mother a car. Like a new one.

 

28. Build something by myself with like tools and wood and shit

 

29. Learn how to do a cartwheel – Not a big believer of people’s feet leaving the ground much, but I need to work on being brave and stuff

 

30. Keep working on being a stronger, wiser, scary old lady

 

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3 thoughts on “30 Things I Would Like to Do, But May or May Not Get Around to Doing Before I Die

  1. Title: Don’t You Threaten Me With a Good Time… No Really, Please. Non-Consent.

    1) Hold out for the single, recently divorced Avett brother.

    3) Banjo, violin and harmonium

    12) I recommend Shorkies. Fucking adorable, loyal, great cuddlers, make the best noises and will constantly make you laugh.

    14) Baby Jesus has a great return on investment.

    17) Eating Harris Teeter pre-sliced cake at 3 AM is perfectly healthy and normal.

    29) Easy there Evel Knievel.

    30) Don’t ever change, the world needs more people like you.

    Liked by 1 person

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